Do not fuck with my Christmas/Birthday/New Year. It is the most important week of the year for me. Lets not fuck it up the ass hole like last year. I want peace. I want us to all be together. I want it my way or no way at all.
For some reason it feels like there is a lot resting on this weekend. I just want to feel pretty, I want to feel like people want me around, I just want to feel accepted, loved for who I am. I sound like some really sappy angst ridden teenager but with everything that’s going on it feels like everything is resting on the small things. I know that next week things are going to be different, I’m just not sure of what way yet. I’m praying, wishing, dreaming, hoping with every muscle that it’s all going to work out and I’ll be happy.
I feel so unloved.
I just want to sleep forever.
I can’t stand selfish people.
It’s probably because I am selfish, but just not in the way I know you’re thinking. I’m selfish when it comes to peoples affection. I love people so much that the thought of them loving someone more than they love me makes me want to not love them anymore. Obviously I am not some unstable bitch, and I know that is fucking retarded, but hey, what can you do? We are all a little fucked up, some of us are just more open about it.
I want to be the centre of the universe. I can’t seem to see what’s wrong with that. I can’t think of anyone who deserves/needs it more. Sorry but I just don’t. I love you, but you’re just not important/fucked up enough to handle all that love/responsibility.